“But I’ve Done So Much Work...”
You’ve tried everything...
And nothing works!
And even if you’ve had some success, the effects are only temporary.
If it seems like everyone else is getting results and you’re still running on the hamster wheel of healing, there has to be a reason. For some, they may not yet know what the root cause is. Others may know the root cause, but are having difficulty working with the underlying energetic and emotional aspects. And there is also a chance that you’re just using the wrong tools for your individual health need.
If you’re Empathic (and I believe we all are because we’re all connected) or Highly Sensitive, you have different needs when it comes to healing because there is the very real possibility that you’ve taken on energies from others – either presently or in the past – and most modalities do not focus on this energetic “transfer.”
“Absorbed” energy can accumulate and create blockages that lead to pain and illness. So it only makes sense that we should work with these blockages on the level they exist. We Empaths and HSPs typically cannot rationalize ourselves out of fear, anxiousness, or what is called “depression” and achieve long-lasting success. These energies are like infants: pure energy and emotion. Ever try having a deep conversation with an infant? To heal, it’s best to get past the mind and then access and work with the underlying emotions.
What? You’ve already done that and still haven’t gotten results?
Welcome to the club!
Because we live in fast-paced, ‘get-er-done’ world, we expect quick and long-lasting results in most things we do. However, for many, there still may be a lag between the work being done and the physical manifestation, and additional symptoms can arise during this time. This engages the mind in, “I’m not getting results; why bother?” Or it can begin a downward cycle of self-deprecation for “not getting it right.” Pretty much everyone I’ve worked with has typed on their intake form some variant of, “But I’ve done so much work! Now, where are my results?!?”
“But I’ve done so much work” implies a lack of acceptance. It suggests both a judgement and an unrealized, probably unrealistic expectation.
I get it. We all want quick results. Most of those I’ve worked with have been taught that pain or illness (that may have been festering for years or decades) can be quickly and completely and permanently "cleared" without accessing the deeper layers. Sadly, I have seen this belief lead to more frustration and even more self-criticism. Oh, and more and more books, workshops, practitioners and modalities.
“But everyone else is getting results.”
If others seem to be getting results, perhaps they are getting symptom reduction – which in and of itself isn’t a bad thing – but that’s typically not deep, long-lasting healing, or what I would call "transformation." If a relapse occurs – whether hours, months, or even years later – or if the repressed energies eventually manifest as the same symptoms or more severe ones, that’s an indication that the underlying causes haven’t been healed and transformation hasn't occurred.
Let’s take this a bit deeper…
In my understanding as a channel and intuitive over the last two decades and a 2x bestselling author who has worked with thousands of Empaths & HSPs, I have learned that the Universe wants us to learn even more than it wants us to heal. And, ironically, learning leads to healing! But too many of us are chasing the wrong thing. We’re chasing symptom reduction and have been convinced that can permanent transformation happen without addressing the lesson that is inherent within every pain and illness. For example, if your muscles are tight because you’ve repressed your anger at your dad, then your deeper issue is the anger, not the pain. And focusing on your pain can sometimes give you even more pain because what we resist, persists, and what we focus on, expands. If you’ve absorbed sadness from your mother and have pushed through it, the energy of sadness is getting more and more repressed. You haven’t yet worked with the sadness in the best way possible and for the necessary amount of time. The real issue is the absorption of energy, not the form of manifestation. Focus on the absorption, and you’ve got more of a chance of long-lasting healing!
In each case, there is a learning that is being brought to your attention through the language of pain or illness. Sadly, this is often the only language that gets heard loudly enough to make the required changes!
Pain and illness are the figurative phone calls telling us where we’ve not been living in alignment with our highest truth, but we’ve been taught to let these calls go to Voice Mail.
It’s time to tune into the messages and see what is looking to emerge. It is time to address the underlying issues, not only with the correct tool, but for the required amount of time.
What is the required amount of time?
Similar to learning a language, healing is incremental; meaning as each layer is healed, you will most likely feel less physical pain; less anger, anxiety and sadness; and increased vivacity! You can also experience spiritual expansion, greater mental understanding and clarity, and a more open heart!
Symptom relief can and should be relatively quick when you are using the correct tools, it's learning to live in a new, higher-vibration manner that takes time and more effort. Doing so will obviously and greatly increase your chances of permanent transformation. But we have to start at Step 1. If you wish to climb a ladder, it's going to be impossible to get to the top without stepping on the lower rungs first.
We’ve been taught that pain reduction can happen in an instant. And pharmaceuticals and any decent energy worker can help you feel better rather quickly. But how long will that last and at what cost? When we work in alignment with our body’s needs, at the right pace, intensity, and duration for you as an individual, you will learn what is required for you to learn, and you will get the results you seek.
And if someone tells you that your healing will happen in one day or one month or one year, run the other way. Don't let anyone play psychic games with your health. Even when tangible Western science tells someone they've got six months to live, that person may be around for six days or six years. We just don't know. Your transformation will take what it takes. Trying to rush it can bypass the learning, the very thing your body wants you to focus on.
What Speeds Up the Transformation?
The most important factors that speed up transformation (in addition to your doctor's recommendation for healing), in my experience are:
a willingness to acknowledge causative traumas;
safe space (either 1:1 or a group format) to work with these deeper layers effectively & consistently;
applying related preventative measures; and
a desire to step into new way of being.
Depending on the type and severity of the affliction, additional factors to the above can be:
switching to a higher-vibration diet;
additional emotional support (groups are wonderful for this!);
profound lifestyle changes; and
Resistance May Arise, But Resistance Isn’t Futile
Your healing can be direct or indirect, and as much as the latter may frustrate you, trust that what you are going through is what is needed at that time. Surely, some resistance can arise along the way. And these too are learning opportunities that shouldn’t be shunned. Resistance can be illuminated and worked with as well. They too are messages on how to live a better life. Sometimes resistance is a message saying to slow down and integrate what you’ve already done before pushing forward. Other times resistance is an opportunity to dismantle the fears associated with stepping up, and out, and into your true purpose.
“But I’ve done so much work” is a belief based on a comparison with others, and an illusion sold to us that transformation should be easy and quick, and if it isn’t, we’re doing it wrong. On the contraire, we all know that our challenges are here to strengthen us, and to ultimately help us live more compassionately and more connected to ourselves, others, and Spirit. We may not enjoy our challenges in the moment, but how we see them can make or break our experience. You can accept and work with what is already existent or fight and work against it hoping to get things to go your way. The former is constructive and the latter is destructive.
As we tune into our pain or illness (or have another individual or group do it for us which is infinitely easier and ultimately, profoundly more effective) and heed the message, we can truly excel, heal, and change our mindset from:
“But I’ve done so much work!”
“Yes, I have done a lot of work. And there is more work to do. And I embrace that because that is why I am here.”
To read more and to learn what I have perceived to be the most powerful tools for long-lasting effects, read Empathipedia: Healing for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons, available here. And check out the Healing for Empaths workshop at Unfold here!