It Was Never About the Shorts

Last weekend I posted a reel to protest the SNL opening monologue of Shane Gillis.  In this monologue, among other offensive, misogynist things, he said that women at the gym these days “dress like whores.” So, I put on my shortest shorts (that are not all that short, lol), a sports bra & filmed myself lifting my dumbbells at the gym, to a trending sound that referenced the issue. 

What I didn’t expect was to be attacked by the manosphere, and some women, too.  By the time I’d turned off commenting - like 36 hrs later, the post had 718 comments, many of which were hateful, hurtful, and demeaning.  Things like, “With that mug, you have nothing to worry about,”  “You’re only 56? Yikes!” and “First day at the gym?” 

It also got lots of supportive comments, by friends & strangers, saying that I looked strong, beautiful, brave.  And that did help.

People were fighting back and forth with each other in the comments - about male fragility, liberal fragility, and women’s inability to take a joke. 

Now, I wasn’t wearing any makeup, and I wasn’t trying to look cute.  But still.  I felt the attacks, and it made me feel unsafe.  In fact, bringing it up again right now, makes my nervous system go through the roof.  Even through a screen, misogyny is scary.  

I posted that reel in solidarity with women who are targeted, leered at, assaulted, and made to feel uncomfortable - in this case, at the gym.

I’m angry about so many things dealing with women’s rights right now.

And one way that I can contribute to helping us feel bodily autonomy, is by offering a place where we don’t need to feel looked at, objectified, criticized or otherwise evaluated.

What I know is that when we’re made to feel weak - that we can take action to be and feel strong.

I know I’m strong.  And still those trolls got under my skin. 

But I will keep showing up - for my own workouts, and I will keep dedicating Unfold to offering ways for women over 40 to connect with their bodies in accessible ways - for strength, for mobility, for nervous system regulation and for relaxation.  In the comfort of your own home. 

Because getting to a gym, and dealing with the bullshit that might exist there really is one of the barriers to us connecting to ourselves and getting stronger.   

And the only way we get through this time - and build what needs to come next - is by tapping into our strength, our wisdom, our compassion and our resilience, and by doing what we can, bit-by-bit, day by day.  

So before you close this email, put a hand on your chest, take one slow breath, and notice: this body is yours, and it’s strong.  

We are needed. We will not be diminished.