Boundaries, Will and Openhearted Intention

Our topic this month is will.

The way this is showing up for me right now, is in the arena of boundary setting, and holding. Now, I'm sure that we have varied kinds of boundaries that are needed right now, but one way to look at it is: setting boundaries for ourselves and setting boundaries for others. Each come with distinct challenges, but for me, I'll focus just now on boundaries set for others, and how exerting will can help provide space for healing and growth.

Some of you may know that I have teenage/almost adult children. It's such a squishy time in terms of boundaries, as are any times of transition: marital status change, employment changes, health shifts for ourselves and loved ones, especially aging parents and living with loss.

But with my recent experiences with setting and holding boundaries for teenage kids, I've found that it can bring up some fear. Fear that they won't respect the boundary, fear that they'll be angry with me, fear that communication will get shut down, fear that I'll be viewed in some particular light. I think that all of these issues can come up when setting boundaries with anyone.

Sometimes we get so focused on the boundary itself, or on the potential negative consequences, that we can forget what it is that we really want. What we really want is for peace, for space, for wellness, for love to flourish, in ourselves, in the other person, and perhaps for those things to flourish in the relationship. It's these positive qualities that can be a driver for us to exert our will.

Setting and holding boundaries takes courage and it takes will. When we can keep the bigger, more open-hearted intention in mind, it may just hold potential for healing, rather than being sucked down into the divisiveness that can come with ego related to the boundaries.

We can practice boundary setting with ourselves, as well, in small ways in our movement and awareness practices. When we remember the bigger reasons for holding a pose longer, or easing off, it helps us connect to open-hearted intention, and to that sense of peace that ultimately we're all pursuing. Further, being clear about our greater, positive intention helps us relate to will in a way that can be less depleting, and more connecting.

I hope that you'll join us to practice aspects of will this month in our varied classes. Leigh's monthly meditation class is coming up this Friday at 5.30pm pst. Yin, Restorative and Yoga Nidra classes can help us understand the will it takes to create space to practice letting go and relaxing. It sounds contradictory, but it's so true! We don't learn to these things by continuing to do the same things we're doing. We have to exert our will to create a structure to practice!

You get the idea. :)

We look forward to seeing you soon,

Love,

EB, Leigh, Rachel & the whole crew at Unfold

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